Early Bedtime is for Cats and Boring People

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
― Glen CookSweet Silver Blues

I’ve been planning to start waking up early for years. Six pm would be early enough, and five pm would be incredibly awesome. The few times I’ve managed it I’ve absolutely loved having the extra time to write. I’m rubbish at getting up, but once I do I’m a lot more productive than I would be at six in the evening. Once the kids are up, I’ve already had some tea and I’ve actually achieved something, which is a lot better way to start the day than having two kids use you for trampoline practice before you’ve even opened your eyes.

But there is a rub. In order to get up early, I’d need to go to bed early. The best thing would be bed by ten pm. Here are my top reasons (a.k.a excuses) for not getting it done.

  1. I need some quality time for myself, i.e. watching television or surfing online.
  2. I want to spend at least some time with hubby, even if it is watching television
  3. My feelings of tiredness usually dissipate right around the time that I am supposed to start sleeping
  4. Sleeping is boring.

It’s not that I don’t know what should be done about it. I’ve read everything there is to read about how to put children to bed, and though I can’t say I’m a raging success at making the little mites settle down, I’ve still learned a lot. The key to getting any human being to bed is this:

  1. Routine. Sickening amounts of grinding routine. Up at the same time, bed at the same time.
  2. Dim the lights and calm activity one to two hours before bedtime.
  3. Don’t go to bed before you’re tired enough
  4. Don’t wait until you’re too tired, either, it’s gotta be just right.
  5. Same goes for eating. Not too much, not too little, or there’ll be hell to pay.
  6. Read a bedtime story to calm you down. My choice for tonight is Stephen Hawking’s A Briefer History of Time. I’m hoping that it’s going to make me very, very sleepy in no time.
  7. Lullaby. If all else fails, listen to some soothing music or even a podcast. Podcasts are the best for me. I regularly miss out on great content since I doze off after five minutes, but that’s just the price to pay for getting a good night’s kip!

And now, it’s off to bed. I’m being boring and early. Great. Five nerdy points for that.

Here are a few more quotes to inspire (or perhaps to depress) the aspiring morning person:

“I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.”

– Jonathan Swift

“It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom.”

– Aristotle

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